Man Hilariously Live Tweets an Office Lunch Theft

posted by AJ -

This is a true crime mashup between The Office and Law and Order. Zak takes office lunch theft very seriously. So when a co-workers lunch went missing, he set out to solve the crime.


The following Tweets took place on March 29th between 2-3pm

> Co-worker got his lunch stolen and they’ve agreed to let him watch the security camera tape. This is the most excited I’ve ever been at any job ever. Ever.

> The lunch in question was shrimp fried rice which means this escalates from a misdemeanor to felony

> Case facts: Lunch was in fridge for less than an hour before it vanished. No shrimp smell remnants in the microwave or kitchen area. This was a professional hit no doubt

> So the man who’s lunch was stolen sits across from me. The person who stole his lunch sits RIGHT NEXT TO ME! She left for the day before the investigation started.

> According to the video, this psychopath DIDNT EVEN EAT THE FOOD. She took it out of the fridge and threw and buried it in the trashHer motives remain completely unknown.

> In lieu of what he saw on the tape he has decided not to press the matter anymore. I can’t say I blame him. We don’t know what this women’s fully capable of.


The following Tweets took place on March 30th between 10-11am

> Points to clarify: he bought the shrimp fried rice around 11:30am (carry out) and put it in the fridge to chill until he takes lunch at noon. So she had exactly a 30min window of time to do what she did. There was no intention of microwaving the food.

> Update: Ok so when dude watched the video with HR they asked “what do you want to do about it?” he told them he was solely interested in who did it and that he didn’t want to be responsible for someone getting fired.

> HR sent a company wide email about not stealing people’s lunches. She is scheduled to arrive at work in 20min. My blood is on cocaine.

> She has walked into the room. And the room is dead silent. Yet there is a palpable explosive energy pulsing through everyone but her.

> From the moment she walked in, I’ve just been staring at her. Watched her open her email and now she clicked on the HR email! &%$@# strap in - here we go!

> I can’t move. I simply cannot move, anything could happen right now

> After seeing the HR email she says out loud “woah. Someone stole a lunch? Who would do something like that?” !!! I may have to run out of this room.

> After she said that, shrimp guy responds “well yea it’s not ok to throw someone’s food away” we’re all about to start screaming.

> She looks frightwningly calm.

> I’ll keep updating if anything else occurs but all I can say is that EVERYONE in the office from the janitor to the founder knows what she did. She now carries an invisible scarlet letter.

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